Look, I used to be that person. The one who'd fire off a text in anger at 2 AM. The guy who'd say the exact wrong thing in a heated moment and then spend weeks trying to fix it. My mouth moved faster than my brain, and honestly? It ruined things. Good things.
The habit that changed everything for me was stupidly simple: I started waiting. Just 10 seconds. Sometimes a full minute.
It sounds like nothing, right? But here's what I didn't realize most of the damage I was doing in my life happened in those first few seconds of reacting. Someone would say something that pissed me off, and boom I'd respond. A situation would stress me out, and I'd immediately type out a message I couldn't take back.
I can't even count how many arguments I started, how many opportunities I killed, how many people I hurt because I couldn't just... pause.
The shift happened after one particularly bad blowup. I said something to someone I cared about, and I watched their face change. You know that moment? When you see you've actually hurt someone and you'd do anything to grab those words back? Yeah. That moment sucked.
So I made a rule. Before I speak when I'm emotional, before I text when I'm angry, before I react when I'm triggered I wait. I literally count in my head sometimes. Ten seconds. Breathe. Think.
Does this person deserve my worst? Is this the fight I want to have? Will this matter tomorrow?
Most of the time, after that pause, my response is completely different. Calmer. Smarter. More human.
I'm not saying I'm perfect now. I still mess up. But I've stopped creating disasters out of nothing. I've saved friendships. I've avoided regrets.
It's weird how something so small just delaying your reaction for a few seconds can stop you from torching your life. But it does.
Try it next time you feel that heat rising. Just wait. See what happens.
If you have any suggestions let me know...