What should I do if I can’t control anything?

There are many things in life we can’t control, everything from tiny rages to calamities. We can’t control what others think, say or do. We can’t control what others think of us. We can’t control who our loved ones hang out with. We can’t control who we work with or who’s in charge.

But, of course, we can control our responses to all the things we can’t control. Feel what you’re feeling. Give yourself the space and authorization to feel whatever feelings arise. Name your feelings. Acknowledge them, without arbitrating yourself, without beating yourself up, without saying, “I shouldn’t be feeling this way.”

Turn to trustworthy people. Sometimes, when we’re feeling out of control, we separate from loved ones. We isolate. We withdraw. However, this is precisely when we “need someone who can be stable to help ground us back down,” 

Remind yourself it’s not everlasting. No matter how horrible you feel, remind yourself that it won’t last forever. “Can you think back to another time you felt really awful and stuck, but then it passed?” When you can’t control a situation, you feel dazed, powerless, helpless and hopeless. It’s disheartening to think there’s nothing you can do. Or maybe we know there are many things we can do, but we don’t have the energy. When this happens, when you feel this way, move slowly. Honor yourself. Take one small, tiny step. Take a deep breath and keep moving forward with the time.